Tweets From The Past

So... I read all of my twitter updates. I picked my favorites (Maybe too much time on my hands today, but this doesn't happen often so I took full advantage of the time waste.) Here they are:

Today, I look like an artist in the phase where they've gone crazy and let themselves go.

      -I did. I was wearing sweatshorts with a shirt and jacket that didn't match, and a random hat.

Service Pack update is complete, whatever that means. Computer gave me a hot pink flower for a background. Stellar. I'm keeping it.

     -I kept it for about a month.

I'm only sarcastic if you are stupid. My sarcasm varies directly with your stupid level.

     -True. Period

I just killed a large spider. It was getting all up in the cash drawer!

     -I had to work in West Jordan that day. I went to count out, and there was a spider. He died.

Skyler Vernon: Consider yourself SERVED! No one messes with my newspaper, garden hose, post-it's, and Mazda!

     -I remember what they did to my car, but I don't remember what I did to get him back. Oh, well.

I floor it through a yellow light. I see a cop. No worries, he was focused on his Egg McMuffin. Thanks McDonalds!

     -I was late to school. I was speeding. I ran the light. The cop had a bite of his food. Yes.